17 days (the confidence is waning)

until I run 26.2 miles with 39,000 of my closest friends. I ran 24 miles 2 weeks ago. I was thrilled. I didn't think I could do it but I did. Since then I have been recovering. It has been longer and more challenging than I had anticipated. I thought I could throw down another 20 miler 2 weeks later but no way. Each day is getting easier. I am doing some myofascial release work to get move more water to my muscles. I am in taper weeks. I run about 5 miles every day to every other day. I am hoping to do something a little longer. It's hard because I am so anxious. I am so afraid I cant do the race. What if I lose my conditioning? I lost about a week after that long run due to severe pain in my lower leg and overall muscle fatigue. It was supposed to be my last high milage week before taper. So my confidence is low. 5 mile runs feel hard. How will 26.2 feel? I'll do it htough. I always do.

Below is my expericne running the 24...

My plan was 22 miles but if I did 4 full laps around it would be 24, so why
not? I was beginning to feel doubt at my ability to do this marathon. 20
was hard, how could I do 6 more? Well I could. I could do as many more
as I needed. The first 6 were challenging. Once I was settled the next 6
were quite fun. I enjoyed seeing many runners and bikers in the park,
rain and all. These were the marathon runners doing exactly what I was
doing. It was inspiring and intimidating. The 3rd set of 6..well another
story. I have learned that I hit the wall at about mile 15 since I
started running over 15 miles. That day 15.5. I just couldn’t do it. I
walked up a hill, sat on a rock and cried my eyes out. I needed
something, some sort of inspiration. Some divine intervention because
there was nothing left inside. Why was I doing this? I’d like o say I
thought of the children at the camp but I didn’t. I was so beat up I
could barely think just feel. I cried and cried until nothing was left.
I took a deep breath and just started running. I felt a huge release and
I was ready to go.

It was my final 6 miles. And that went by fast. I was the most
determined I had been in a long time. I have not felt this strong for
months. I was going to do it. I was NOT going to stop. Mile 19—the
spot where most runners hit the wall. I was happy and cruising. I was
past my wall. I was listening to music singing along. The rain was
coming down and it felt great. I love this park! Mile 20..only 4 more,
not even a 10K. mile 22, I’m doing it. Holy cow I AM doing it! I only
have 2 more then I am done. 23 and the last mile is uphill, one of the
hardest and longest in the park. I do it, no problem. It’s tiring, my
legs are slowing down but I tell myself to keep going. Just keep
running….just keep running… and there it is. 24.00 miles.
I stop.
I did it!
I hurt…oh my gosh do I hurt. I think I need to run more because it
hurts too much to walk or stop. Pacing back and forth trying to figure
out what to do with these pulverized legs of mine. How about a drink,
fig bar or a gel or something? I stumble to the park bench and sit for a
few minutes. Sitting feels good but not for long. Then I remember that I
must stretch no matter what or I will never make it home. I stretch, eat
and hobble to my car.
I did it.
I ran 24 miles.
I will finish this marathon no problem.