4.25!

I ran 4.25 miles nonstop at the high school track today!!! I needed that after such a low point. I brought some positive words with me on a notecard and planned to look at them when I hit the wall. I never took them out of my pocket. I hit the wall early and convinced myself that it would be far worse if I stopped now. I don't like feeling sad and what is the worst that could happen if I continued? I don't hurt. It is more like having a really persistent person in my face telling me to stop. I stop because I don't override that persistence. The pain of disappointment is far worse.

I kept going. I hit my happy spot and even went into a meditative place for a while. I told myself that I am fit and I run like a well trained athlete. That was funny as I argued wit myself on that one. I remembered it from my notecard. I concluded that I am well trained as I have two coaches working with me. Silly things I think about.

My pace was good. I picked up my feet more and had a good tempo the whole way. I did not time myself though. I got to close to 3 miles and decided to keep going. I was hoping for 4 miles and dreaming of 5. I passed James at the 12th lap and yelled out, "I'm taking this as far as it takes me!!" It took me 5 more laps. By the last lap (#17) I hit another wall. Nothing significant. I could have overridden it. But I was actually feeling tired and I was happy at how far I went. The farthest so far is 4 miles so I passed it. My kids were biking and running there and I wanted to interact with them as I had tried so hard to ignore them as I ran (distraction is a big issue for me).

The kids biked 2 miles and ran 1/2 mile. they were proud of their accomplishments too. We sat in the grass, stretched and talked about our work today. I am back to feeling like I can in fact do this tri.