Open Water

Yesterday we practiced with the team in the lake. What a process that was! I liked the lake. I liked the beauty of the hills nearby and the clarity of the water. I could see the rocks and the gradual decline much like the beach. Our coach assured me several times that he has never seen a snake (I'm phobic). I bought it and did not get any bad snake creepy feelings. Water was warm and I went for the first buoy. My stroke was good. I felt confident. I was happy. This is not bad at all. Sighting was hard as I stopped swimming and had to tread water to look up and then begin freestyling all over again. I took in some water in my nose and mouth and suddenly I was panicking. I can't touch bottom or a wall. Shit. I can't stop my arms and legs from flailing. I can't stop hyperventilating. Why can't I breathe? I turn on my back. Better but I can't stop flailing or breathing hard. It is harder to breathe on my back. I try and try to focus. I have to ask for help. I see one of coaches, Mike, with his surfboard. He seems really far. I am really frightened. I yell out for help feeling panic and embarrassment. Mike is so far away. After I yell out he is magically there in an instant. I hold his surfboard and continue to hyperventilate.

I apologize and he assures me that this is normal. I don't know what happened. I was doing well. My strokes were the best ever. I was not at all tired. I just panicked. I remebered about this athlete that was a top competitive swimmer in the pool who did a triathlon. When he went to the open water during the triathlon he panicked and quit. He spent a year working thorugh his open water fears. Thank goodness I read that or I would have felt like a loser.

Mike helped me calm down. I could hear Sara, the other coach tell me how much my swimming has improved. I felt calm and ready to go again. I was practically at the first buoy when I panicked. Mike stayed next to me while I swam back to shore and continued to work with me. My confidence was back. He gave me a wetsuit which is legal in the triathlon and helps with floating. I felt like I was cheating! I floated like a cork and continually asked Mike if this really was okay in the race. He assured me that most people use them. Wow, it was better than my fins which are not allowed. He stayed with me for another swim to the first buoy. No problem esp with this suit. I knew I could tread with it if necessary. I looked at Mike and said I wanted to go further to the secong buoy. I went for it. I did and returned to shore easily. All I could think of while swimming was my stroke. How did I look? Am I doing it correctly? It felt right. I sighted better and almost swam in a straight line. I did it.

I was happy that I panicked early. I am happy that I did not worry about snakes. I did see a floating stick once and ask Mike if it was a snake. It was not of course. I was impressed at Mike and Sara's reassurance. Truly awesome coaches. James said that when I started everyone was commenting on how well I was swimming. Really I like the open water. It's a nice challenge. I know physically I can handle it. I have to swim to the 5th buoy and back for the race. I know when I have more confidence (and those wetsuits sure help!) I will do it. My stamina has drastically increased. Again it is my mind that I have to work.

I ran two miles after which was bad. I ran and walked and fought it every step of the way. I want to run again at the track without James and see if that is it. I am in a running slump but loving the swim.