No such word as "can't"

There’s no such word as can’t.

There’s no such word as can’t.

There’s no such word as can’t.

This was the mantra my brother and mother instilled in me in early childhood. If I ever said “I can’t” my family would immediately correct me and tell me there was no such word. Of course, as a kid I would intellectualize that and argue back that there was in fact such a phrase that existed in the English language. Still, it stuck with me. Perhaps that is why I am so headstrong and oppositional today. That is what will allow me to finish this marathon. Not so much fitness but really stubbornness.

I was born with a mild case of cerebral palsy (CP) so I spent the first 4 years of my life in intensive physical therapy, speech therapy, the orthopedist’s office and in Cardinal Glennon children’s hospital in St Louis. Ironically -- all very positive memories. Physical therapists still hold a very warm spot in my heart. I ambulated at home with my arms and butt scooting everywhere as my feet were in shoes attached to a board. My family told me stories of my climbing out of my crib with this board attached. Again stubbornness. No one is making me stay in this crib! Though as mother it makes me cringe to think of what could have happened! My mother and brother spent so much time with me, teaching me, getting me to walk and be normal. By about 4 1/2 I was normal- walking without devices and talking up a storm. The only thing different was I was not much of an athlete. That was what was left of the CP according to my mother. I could not run like the other kids.

I have been struggling with self doubt this week and forgetting my roots, forgetting how much I really did train.

I forgot that there is no such word as can’t.

My mother is no longer here. I wish she could see her daughter run this marathon. I’m sure the contrast between a 3 year old attached to a board and a grown woman finishing a 26.2 mile running course would be astounding to her. I hold onto this as I enter this marathon tomorrow.

There’s no such word as can’t.