It has been a productive week. Last Saturday we did a practice half-tri with the team. I had been running all week so that I could complete the 2 mile after biking. I needed to do this run. The swim began and I unexpectedly had a full blown panic attack in the lake again. I was swimming well and suddenly I could not breathe and it scared me. I knew I could float with the wetsuit but I also knew I had to get to point B or turn around. Either way I had to keep swimming. yet I could not put my face in the water. I tried to relax on my back but that made the breathing worse. I called for James who was a few feet ahead of me "James. I can't breathe. I'm scared. Wait for me." He waited and told me to keep swimming. I doggie paddled to point B and was able to touch bottom. Damn it! Why had I done that? I wasn't afraid before. Mike came with his surf board ...again! I calmed down. James reminded me of "Finding Nemo" and said Just Keep Swimming. I caught my breath and the panic was gone. I'm going now and I will finish. I did. On the last leg, I swam as hard as I could to the finish. I sighted Mike and was going to try not to look silly again. Interesting how coordinated my stroke is when I swim fast.
I went for my bike and J was still at his. We rode together. What a relief. biking is easy and relaxing. J and I biked together for a while which was nice. We passed a few others on the way back. I replayed the panic attack wondering what triggered it and what I need to do to prevent it from happening again. Maybe I brushed up against an animal. Maybe it was after Mike said, "if anyone has a panic attack I'm right here." Maybe it was that I did not warm up and I had not been in the open water for 2 weeks. Maybe it was starting on someone else's clock and not mine. Probably all of the above. Either way I need to spend the remainder training in the lake and not the pool. I decided to let that go and focus on the upcoming run. I was even more determined to complete the run now. I refuse to fail on 2 of 3.
I come to the transition place ready to run. One of the team members reminded me to drink as I got off my bike. I drank water and Gatorade and took a bite of Odwalla Bar. Got my music organized and walked fast for a few minutes stretching my legs. Here I go. It's only 2 miles and it's flat. J was about a 1/2 mile ahead of me. i could see him in his red shirt. I start. Wow, my legs again feel like bricks. I can work past it. I will run slowly. I saw other teammates running back. They encouraged me and I encouraged them. It felt good to step out of my concentration and cheer them on. It made the whole experience more positive. I saw one of our teammates who had trouble on the trail form hell the first time. He was on the way back and I was thrilled to see him keep going. He looked great and fast. I gave him a smile and thumbs up. Then I saw Byron. Oh my! my boy!!! He has his camel bag on and is saying something to me but I can't hear him. He is fast and long making it look easy. he is smiling and we give each other a big smile. I yell out "way to go Byron!" he is ahead of both James and I. I see James pass by me. We smile. I am prettyhappy at this point. I am almost at the turn around point. I know I can complete this. I have never made it this far on this path without stopping and now I have no intention of stopping. I turn and head back. My legs are feeling better, more like at the end of a run rather than bricks. I see the end. I see Mike's car which is the finish line. Everyone is down there. I go from the pavement to the final downhill train to the the parking lot. I see J and Byron. Everyone is cheering me on so I sprint to J and Byron who are holding out their hands.
I did it. I completed the run. I feel great. Byron made really good time as well as James.
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