It has been an interesting week. Earlier in the week we were splitting wood and kindling. All of us. James, Byron and I split while Luna and Liam stacked. It was fun. We split with axes, no automatic log splitters here. Alex and his father came over to use the chainsaw on the wood to make logs. When we purchased our wood this summer, the people drop it by whole. Then we have to saw it into smaller pieces. Alex and his father cut a lot of wood and we still have a giant stack of what resembles whole trees left in our yard. We got chopping and were almost finished when Domi Basci arrives with his saw and starts cutting even more logs into rounds. I loved the novelty of splitting wood. I loved the exercise. I attempted to keep perspective that while it is necessary for our heat here it is a novelty. We will eventually go back to our centrally heated home. For everyone else in the village this is life. Byron likes this life. In fact, he decided he liked it so much that he wants to have a job at home splitting wood.
Today we planned to go for a hike to the cemetery up the hill. James wanted to show us what the traditional funeral is like here. James started talking with Esthi Neni about using her washer. She invited us in. We thought she was going to show us how to use it. She gives us a tour of her house. I hadn’t been inside yet. We sit down and she communicates to us to take off our coats and stay. I am relying on body language and rough translation from James here. She offers us palinka. I say no. James tries to say no but it is already on the tray ready to serve. I started a juice fast for the day and had no idea where wine or palinka fit into this. James tries to communicate that I am drinking only fruit juice. So she goes into another room and brings us some homemade wine with the fruits in the jar to take home. She brings the same wine out for me. It is very strong wine. I again try to say no as well as James and she pours it for us and tells us to drink. Meanwhile the kids are loving her place. She already gave them a big box of chocolate and they could have as many as they wanted. She begins to tell me about her health issues showing me her legs and medications. She tells us she had what may have been a MI when we were in
I try to ask how long she has lived in the village. She says since 1989. This was when the revolution happened and Communism ended. Many Hungarians were forced out of the villages and replaced by Romanians, a sort of ethnic cleansing of sorts, to live in Udvarhely, the closest “city.” We go here for our groceries. Esthi Neni lived there prior to the village and was unable to move to the village until after the revolution. She showed us photos of her parents, herself and Domi Basci and her son. What a privilege. She tells us she is overwhelmed with life. Too much to do and she is tired.
We then talk about Christmas and advent. She immediately measures James neck and motions that she wants to get him a new minister shirt for Christmas. She is excited that he is doing the sermon this Sunday. Csaba is out of town and James will fill in for him with Eva translating. She says she really doesn’t attend church but has been since he has been here. She will be at church this Sunday.
It is time to go. The children were getting squirrly and I was feeling a little like I had too much wine. Having two glasses on virtually an empty stomach from my fast was too much for me. I tried to leave my first cup half full, a way to avoid the obligatory second filling. But she would see it and tell me to drink more. I was honored to have had the chance to really sit with Esthi Neni. I had wanted to talk with her and ask about her life since we arrived. It is amazing how we can communicate despite the language barrier. We made our way out and she offered us some of her sauerkraut from her cellar. She gave me some sauerkraut water. I was hesitant at first but we needed to try it at her urging to be polite. I loved it. She kept telling us to drink it as she read that there were a lot of vitamins in it. She gives us hugs as she always does and tells me that she likes James, he is good. I agree with her and we both hug James.
We start our walk. James talks with Micsi Basci, Atilla and Bella’s grandfather. Atilla and Bella are Luna and Liam’s good friends next door. Misci Basci is in good form today. He is drunk but pleasant and friendly. He is usually pretty gruff. James and he have a connection. He walked with us a bit. He told us that he knows some Russian. He likes the idea of learning English but will never travel to the
We hiked up a muddy road, really almost all roads are muddy here. We passed a tractor tilling a field and made it to the first cemetery. James explained how the casket is driven up to the cemetery in the horse drawn cart. The minister, or Csaba here, leads and the people follow him. Everyone walks regardless of their age or health status. When they arrive the grave has been dug and the casket is placed inside. The casket is sealed and lowered. The family can throw the first dirt on while prayers are being said.
We passed graves from the 1800’s with beautiful headstones. Almost all the graves are well cared for. It is common to see family plots. We walked past a beautiful pasture to the other cemetery. This is where James was present for the last funeral. He showed me the gravesite. The children were very interested in reading the names of the people and when they lived. They wanted to know if anyone famous was here. A piece of their visit form Pere Lachaise in
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